How to begin
Deciding how to begin sentences involves two decisions:
- What is the sentence about (subject)
- What is the most direct way of saying it?
Example
Reading the newspaper I found an article about East Timor. It stated that the situation was inevitable and that Australia should have been in East Timor before the vote on independence.
The opening sentence in this example is not particularly useful, as it does not assist the reader to know what the point is. The information in these two sentences could be more succinctly stated in a single sentence, as follows:
An article in the newspaper stated the situation in East Timor was inevitable, and that Australian peacekeepers should have been there before the vote on independence.
Roundabout openings (Nadell, McMeniman, & Langan, 1991, p. 100).
At the beginning of a sentence, you are formulating a new thought so you may explore the point before discovering exactly what you want to say. For this reason, the openings of sentences are especially vulnerable to unnecessary phrases. Common examples include phrases beginning with there and it (when it does not refer to a specific noun), and words like how and what (when they don't actually ask a question). In the following examples, note that trimming away excess words highlights the subject and verb, thus clarifying meaning:
Original: It was their belief that the problem had been solved.
Revised: They believed the problem had been solved.
Original: There are now computer courses offered by many high schools.
Revised: Many high schools now offer computer courses.
Original: What should be done in this crisis is to transport food to the victims' homes.
Revised: Food must be transported to the victims' homes.
Original: How to simplify the college's registration process should be a priority.
Revised: Simplifying the college's registration process should be a priority.
Of course, feel free to open with there or it when some other construction would be less clear or effective. For example, don't write “Many reasons can be cited why students avoid art courses” when you can say, “There are many reasons why students avoid art courses.”
Excessive Prepositional Phrases
Since prepositional phrases (word groups beginning with at, on, and the like) tend to be wordy, strings of them weigh sentences down and hide main ideas. Note how eliminating such phrases (in bold in the following examples) makes writing more vigorous and helps to reveal the central meaning of the sentence:
Original: Growth in the greenhouse effect may result in increases in the intensity of hurricanes.
Revised: The growing greenhouse effect may intensify hurricanes.
Original: The reassurance of a neighbour who was the owner of a pit bull that his dog was incapable of harm would not be sufficient to prevent most people from calling the authorities if the dog ran loose.
Revised: Despite a neighbour's reassurance that his pit bull was harmless, most people would call the authorities if the dog ran loose.
Sentences as units of meaning
Sentences are units of meaning. Therefore, each sentence needs to say something clearly. New sentences build on previous sentences. A group of well-structured sentences that accumulate meaning form a paragraph. The paragraph is a basic building block of linear and logical text. See Writing Paragraphs for more detail of this level of text.
Sentence Structure
Sample non-sentence: ‘Also that scientific evidence is safe, and complementary medicine as a risk.'
This statement is not a sentence. The error is probably an editing issue. There is no clearly defined subject (what the sentence is about) and therefore no clearly defined main verb (action). It is easy for writers to make this kind of error - they understand what they mean and they don't see a problem. The marker cannot add meaning to what is written because the role of the marker is to assess the demonstrated understanding of the student writer.
There are some things writers can do to improve their texts. Think carefully about the beginnings of sentences. Avoid starting sentences with connecting or referring words such as ‘also', as they are not good initial words. ‘Also' implies connection with a previous idea. The use of as instead of is in the last part of the sentence is probably a typing error. It is a real word but the spell checker does not pick up the incorrect usage.
There is also a content error. The sentence is comparing two things but the problem is that they are not in the same category. Scientific evidence does not belong to the same family of concepts as complementary medicine. To be able to compare two things we need to be sure that those objects, ideas, concepts are comparable.
For example, orthodox medicine and complementary medicine or scientific evidence and anecdotal evidence are two groups of items which could be compared. We could not however compare complementary medicine and anecdotal evidence.
Stages of writing
The main thing to remember about writing is that it happens in stages. The most appropriate sentence patterns do not just happen the first time you try to write. It is important to recognise that in writing down your thoughts you are doing two things.
- You are attempting to capture thoughts as they arise (Understanding)
- You are ensuring you have written what you meant and meant what you have written. Editing assists you maintain control over your text and helps reduce the “unclear expression” comments markers make when they do not understand what you mean (Communication)
If you are unclear about the issue or topic about which you are writing it will be harder for you to get the ideas down on paper. Taylor (1989) explains it this way: "If you find it extremely difficult to get words onto the page, then what is probably at fault is your understanding of what you are trying to say or an insufficiently worked-out argument to support it. This can only be overcome by going back to your books or by forcing yourself to clarify your point of view by writing a short summary of it" (p. 8).
Thinking of your reader
In your first attempts at writing you can expect rough patches in the quality of your work.
Deliberately constructing the beginnings of sentences is one way of exercising control over the text you finally produce.
As you work towards completing a final text the reader must be in your mind. As you edit your writing to transform it from private musings to public document, imagine the reader to be an interested, intelligent fellow-student – someone a bit like you - who needs to understand exactly what you mean.
References
Nadell, J., McMeniman, L., & Langan, J. (1991). The Macmillan writer rhetoric, reader handbook. New York: Macmillan.
Taylor, G. (1989). The student's guide for the arts and sciences. Melbourne: Cambridge University Press.
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